PA Governor's Conference for Women diary insert Oct 14th

Oh my goodness, what a day!! This morning I caught the 6 a.m. Pittsburgh flyer. Fabulous! I was on time today. For someone who's not a morning person I had a great morning conversation with sponsor's during breakfast of their feedback. So off to the exhibitor's booths. It felt like Christmas as I was on the look-out for stickers for my laptop and Moleskine. What a morning challenge, my very first scavenger hunt.

So it's time for the morning keynote speakers. I only wished to see Dr. Mae Jemison, but to my surprise the entire panel, each touched me. I don't know what I should be doing with my life. My goal is now clear. I was at a crossroads trying to figure, who am I. I found that I'm currently in the right place right here and now. Maybe telling my lifestory to help someone else, or find ways to change my pessimistic way of viewing my life. Were there any other women who have this issue? Not in this beautiful sea of women. You can see how strong they were just by looking at their faces. A sea of feminine strength.

My first breakout session I sat listening to Sarah Welsh of Buttoned Up. Hoping should glean a way for me to rid myself of clutter. Instead she prepared me to organize for eminent disaster. Priceless. I had no clue to organize for what's truly important. My clutter is superficial. I had been viewing it in a different context as something to rid myself of. I doubt myself all too often out of fear of failure so why start. As my therapist has told me that I am committed as I attend all of my therapy as scheduled whether I have to walk to the bus or catch medical transit.

So instead of being anti-social, or socializing with only the women I was scheduled to meet with I ventured out of my comfort zone to talk to other women. Though I was required to spend some time with the group I came with the previous day, I wished to network a bit more. So I met up with Team WCSI and headed home with my mind blown away at the positive energy and continuing to become unstuck as to who I am and who will I be once I finally grow up.

Tripped Along The Way

I've been known to become a bit impatient, or go to the other extreme to procrastinate. However, one thing that I do pat myself on is being early or on-time for events. I feel you can miss much rushing to an event. It reminds me of the different modes of transportation. Driving is too fast to notice the a single violet growing on the side of the road. Walking will work, but I feel that cycling is the happy medium. You can still move slow or as fast as you wish to view the beauty.

After being picked up over an hour late for the volunteer commitment, I came to my senses to understand it was out of my control. It was made known to me that I lived out of the way. Funny if I had not made the suggestion for the event, but I digress. A wonderful time was had after meeting other beautiful women who decided to volunteer for whatever their reason. As I know for myself I could not afford such an expensive invitation.

In the long-run, I've received more than I've given for this event. Yet even before the conference has begun. As a result, I'm listening to my intuition and taking mass transit from the country to the little city for some fun.

Courage to move forward

Well hello, again. So much has occurred over the past couple of years. However, cycling was not one of my occurrences. When I originally thought of starting blogging it was more of a means of journalling. I had absolutely no idea that the last title post would have such significance in my life. Yet I knew a change of course had to be established in order for me to survive the bombardment of psychiatric alphabet soup of diagnoses. In addition, the name of the blog, unknowingly, spoke of the feelings of my ADHD inattention.

In the past few months I've been gorging on almost any information I could use to help change how I cope with having a different brainstyle, working with my strengths instead of against them. There is something very different with how I learn and produce, which is why all of my places of employment seemed so rigid. Plus I've always known that I just did the work for the pay never for the joy I'd hoped to find. As I approach my one-year anniversary of attending weekly DBT training I wonder what the next steps will entail. After searching Psychcentral there are six things I should have acquired from the four modules. One that has helped me greatly is support to help change and decrease unhealthy response behaviors, changing my perception from sad/angry to glad. Realizing that everything in the world is neutral it's our perception that we label/judge items good or bad, which is a judgemental stance.

I've decided to commit until the end or beginning of 2010 or 2011. However, staying too long may set my triggers for ADHD. Let's see what the next few months bring.